During the past week I haven't gotten much done as far as writing goes. That's okay; I'm sort of between books right now anyway. I have a book coming out in a couple of weeks, Shudder. There's not much I can do on it now, but hope readers and reviewers will like it. I think most writers, me included, are a bit nervous during the time a book is completely out of our hands, but not in bookstores yet.
I've also submitted a manuscript I've been working on for a year, but haven't heard yet whether it's a yes or no. That's another waiting time that makes me a bit nervous.
My column for Meridian has been turned in, but didn't run Thursday so I'm assuming it will run this Thursday. This happens several times a year, but each time I worry about it until the column is actually posted.
I have a speaking engagement next Wednesday.
I haven't started another book yet. I decided I needed a little break since life has been pretty hectic for me the past few years and I've had enough to worry about---my son-in-law who was wounded in Iraq, my father's and brother's deaths, a daughter's breast cancer, another daughter's swine flu and three bouts of pneumonia, my sister's acute leukemia, and so on. I know worrying about things I can do nothing about is a non-productive exercise. I blame it on my ancestors; I come from a long line of worriers.
The problem is; I think I've forgotten how to relax. I rush through every task, constantly feel guilty because I'm not writing, and have difficulty settling down to read or carry on a conversation.
For the past few days I've been picking up my grandson whose mom is ill and taking him with me to pick up another grandson from kindergarten who is normally picked up from school by the daughter who is ill. The cousins are just four and a half months apart in age, but one is in school and one isn't. Watching them together today reminded me of how important it is to enjoy life, but we don't have to all do it the same way.
Brandon is Mister Congeniality. Everyone is a friend and the more physical the game the better he likes it. He painted in class today and that was "awesome." He eats every bite of lunch I put before him, then puts his dishes in the sink, and washes his face. He doesn't have time to cuddle, needs a volume switch, and is on the go every minute. He also likes to figure out things for himself and is an avid fan of action video games.
Calton is slightly younger, but taller and he can read. He daydreams through lunch and never notices that his face and hands are sticky. He's a little fearful of climbing the gate or balancing on a wall, but he'll follow if his cousin leads the way. He likes to snuggle up to read a book and thrives on the more academic video games. He has a million questions about everything.
Surprisingly these two have a great time together and seem to fall into making up games where they each excel in his own way and both have a great time.
I think that like these two little boys, I need to laugh more, try new things more, and sometimes just live for the moment. I'll never be completely cured of worrying, but I don't really want to stop caring about family and friends. The boys' game today evolved into a rolling down the stairs competition. I'm not ready to go that far, but I'm going out to dinner tonight with friends we've never gone out with before and I just sent off a check to hold a reservation at the May ranch for a week next summer. It's time to rediscover fishing.