One day last week my cousin was cruising along I-15 at about
65 mph during rush hour when the car in front of him suddenly darted into the
next lane and Joe found a kitchen sink lying in the road right in front of
him. Both lanes on either side of him
were full, leaving him no way to avoid hitting that large ceramic sink. In seconds, he straddled it and it shredded a
tire and tore pieces loose from his car's undercarriage. He had a fight on his hands to maintain
control and avoid rolling or involving another car in an accident.
Other drivers and the Highway Patrol were kind, thoughtful,
and helped him all they could, but there was no way he could have avoided
slamming into that kitchen sink. They
could only help him with the aftermath. Why do I mention this story? Recently someone brought up a hurtful remark
aimed at a friend and it reminded me of a neighbor who came to me in tears
following the discovery that I had breast cancer twenty years ago. This lady said she felt she needed to
apologize to me because she'd had mean thoughts about me. She thought it was unfair that I had so much
and she worked really hard and had so little.
She assumed I made lots of money just writing little stories. She knew I had met a lot of famous people
through my position on the Salt Palace advisory board and my years as a
reporter. My oldest daughter had
recently married the son of a prominent community leader in the temple; my son
was serving a mission, and my younger daughters had college scholarships. I was thin then too (she added that!) It wasn't until my cancer diagnosis that she
learned one of my daughters also had cancer and we were struggling to overcome the
financial loss that came with the company my husband worked for going bankrupt,
leaving him without a job and the disappearance of his retirement fund. Both of our mothers had recently died as
well.
This lady had harbored a completely romanticized and false
image of me, partly because she had glamorized what it is to be a writer. It was a shock to her to discover writers are
like everyone else; we have highs and lows and we're certainly not immune to
life's tragedies. We hit kitchen sinks
just like everyone else. To be honest
some of my writer friends have been dealing with some pretty severe problems in
recent years, have found plenty of obstacles in their paths, and have had to
fight hard to stay on course, keep writing, and protect their loved ones. Sarah
Eden has a severe form of Rheumatoid Arthritis that causes her incredible pain,
Kerry Blair has fought her way through MS and a bout of cancer, Gale Sears's
son died unexpectedly from a disability he didn't know he had, Rob Wells
struggles with extreme panic attacks, Anita Stansfield has Celiac that went
undiagnosed too long and has caused her permanent health problems, Rachel Nunes
spent years writing with a baby on her lap, Michele Bell was beside her son
with his long scary ordeal with cancer, and the list goes on and on. Writers are wives, husbands, parents, etc.,
who cope with their children's school problems, with elderly ill parents,
sometimes another full time job, illness, marital differences, accidents,
difficult pregnancies, unexpected multiple births, and every problem that besets any other
person. The only thing that makes writers different is that through it all,
they still write. Just as a musician
continues to make music even when the world turns dark and his heart is
breaking, so the writer continues to pen stories.
Like Joe, who couldn't avoid hitting that kitchen sink
someone failed to secure to his vehicle, all of us, writers or not, will hit some difficult obstacles in
our lives from time to time through no fault of our own. These experiences aren't fun, but they do
enrich our understanding and our compassion for others. Good writers
internalize these experiences and they emerge as richer, more empathetic
stories and more realistic characters.
Most of us fantasize about a life where everything runs smoothly, but
when we read a novel where there are no problems, we're soon bored and complain
that "nothing ever happens" in the book. Just as we learn in Sunday School that there
must be opposition in all things and that we can't appreciate the good if we have
no understanding of the evil, so it is in writing. We won't appreciate a happy ending if the
characters haven't struggled to overcome anything. Adversities or challenges in
our lives not only make us stronger and more capable of appreciating good
things, but from a literary standpoint they make us better writers and readers
because we have personally experienced a wide gamut of emotions which have
expanded our understanding.
