Shopping just isn't my thing!

It may sound strange, but I don't like to shop.  I endure grocery shopping because I like to eat.  I put off clothes shopping as long as possible even though, like most women, I like something new to wear.  Shoe shopping is torture.  When it comes to household furniture and appliances I find myself wishing I could make them once-in-a-lifetime purchases which would never wear out.  Yesterday I found myself doing the worst kind of shopping of all--car shopping.

I have absolutely loved my little Saturn Ion which I bought seven years ago.  Terrific gas mileage, looked nice, paid for, dependable, very little maintenance required, an all around great car.  But my husband finally convinced me I needed to trade it in while it still had some resale value and before I had to buy new tires or it required major work due to age. 

Buying the new car was an all day production.  I soon discovered most new cars are ugly.  Car salesrooms are filled with over-priced impracticality.  In some, a squad of salesmen hover at your elbow and in others there isn't a sales person to be found.  We eventually found a dealership where the balance felt right and the salesman was helpful rather than pushy. I checked out the Cruze Eco online and at several dealerships and liked what I saw, but everywhere I looked they were all manual transmissions except at this one place.  I learned to drive on a manual, but most of my driving is city and in the city I like an automatic much better.  At last I'd found a salesman I liked and a car I liked.  Even the color was good--a bright crystal red.

Unlike with other shopping where once I find what I like, I pay for it, and go on my way, buying a car involves hours of filling out papers, waiting for this and that, deciding whether to go with this guarantee or that, this service or that, and with today's cars there are lessons on learning to use On-star and operate satellite radio along with which button opens the trunk and which starts the engine.  After spending two thirds of the day at the dealership before driving the new car home, I still have to take it back for some treatment I think I agreed to because I was tired and wanted to go home.  By the way, on the drive home I discovered On-Star doesn't know the best way to my house and satellite radio sounds the same as plain old FM. It was a smooth comfortable ride, however.

After all that, I just hope my Cruze proves as dependable as my dear old Saturn.  It's a cool looking car and if the gas mileage lives up to its hype, I'll be happy.  And with any luck, I won't have to go car shopping again for a really long time.

Sharing a few pictures

What a week this has been. I shared a picture from the court proceeding and thought you might like to see a few pictures taken after the sealing at the Oquirrh Mountain Temple on Saturday. The baby wore the same dress today for her blessing.

A GIFT OF LOVE

Tuesday morning the adoption of my newest, darling granddaughter was finalized.  Saturday our family will gather at the temple to be a part of her sealing to our family for all eternity and Sunday she will be blessed.  It's shaping up to be a wondrous, happy week.

Naturally my mind has turned often to the miracle of adoption lately.  I feel deep gratitude to the young mothers who loved their babies enough to give them two parents and a better chance in life than they could. 

I feel a kind of sadness for the television shows and popular culture push for birth mothers who haven't finished school and have no real means of support, to keep their babies.  I see young women who are emotionally immature, alone, or trying to escape dysfunctional homes being taught to think "if you keep your baby you'll have someone who loves you", "only a bad person would give away her child", "It'll be so much fun to have a baby," "don't worry about the money; there's government financial help for single mothers," "what will he think of you when he learns he was adopted?" or parents who insist "you can't give away my grandchild."  Notice none of these concerns are actually for the baby.  Almost always when there's no chance of marriage or a continuing loving relationship between the parents, premature parenthood is in neither the young mother's or her baby's best interest.

Too often single girls who keep their babies end up living a life of poverty.  Their children are more likely to do without essentials, many suffer abuse from their mothers' boyfriends, and they're less likely to finish high school or go on to college.  There are exceptions of course, but it's so much harder.  I've seen grandparents who struggle to care for grandchildren, who love them, and act as parents, then suddenly have the children torn from their home when the mother decides to marry and take the children far away.  I've also seen grandparents left in charge of their single child's baby who are physically unable to provide the needed care, leaving the baby or toddler unintentionally neglected.

Adoptions these days are very open.  The young woman who chooses to place her child in a stable home can receive regular reports and pictures to assure her of the child's well-being.  In some cases she can see the child at regular intervals.  She can also finish her education, mature, establish a career, marry, and pursue her dreams, knowing the child she loves is being properly cared for and has the advantages of a loving home, enough to eat, the prospect of higher education, and the love of an extended family.

One of the greatest heartbreaks a couple can face is the knowledge that they can't have children. Here you have a couple who are committed to each other, financially prepared for parenthood, mature enough to be good parents, but for some reason they can't conceive.  If these parents are fortunate enough to be allowed to adopt a child, I assure you they feel nothing but love and admiration for the birth mother who honestly considers her baby's future needs above her own. They respect her courage in completing the pregnancy and letting go of a piece of herself for the child's better good.

Adoption is no guarantee the child will have no problems and the parents will always know how to deal with every issue, but the same can be said for all children.  Children don't come with how-to manuals, but adoptive parents receive more training than most as the proceed through the pre-adoption process.  In my state they have to pass a pretty extensive background check as well.  If anyone doubts an adopted child is loved as much as one born into a family, let me assure you there is no basis for that fear  An adopted child is always wanted.  One of my most treasured memories is that of my daughter when her first adopted child was placed in her arms by his birth mother.  The look of joy, of rightness, of love on these two young women's faces is a memory I hold priceless. The same feelings of love and awe I experience holding my other grandchildren is there for these two adopted ones.  I never find myself thinking, this one is adopted and this one isn't.  They're all my grandchildren and all eleven are the most precious children in the world. If my experience is an indication of a trend, I'd say adoption is truly a win-win proposition for all concerned. My deepest thanks goes out to two brave young women who gave my grandchildren life, then gave them the precious gift of love by allowing them to be adopted.

PRIORITIES

Reading, writing, and reviewing are top priorities in my life. I devote a lot of time to these three things.  There are few things I'd rather do, but they aren't my only priorities.  My husband, my children, and my grandchildren have first claim on my time and attention.  The two days I spend serving in the temple rank among my top priorities as well.  There are also my extended family and a whole raft of temporary priorities such as mopping my kitchen floor, weeding a flower bed, teaching a class, doing the laundry, balancing our checkbooks, visiting teaching, and so on.  I'm no different from other writers.  We have lives to lead that come before our characters' lives. (I've only ever met one writer who can afford a maid.)  But I always come back to reading, writing, and reviewing.

It's important for each individual, not just writers, to discover their priorities.  Writing isn't the only occupation that requires the ability to self-start and to set priorities, but since I'm in the writing business that's what I'm going to talk about.  People who need someone else to wake them up, set their goals, and propel them toward the computer won't accomplish much.  Writers who carve out their own time and predetermine what constitutes a qualified interruption are more likely to succeed than those who spend most of their precious writing time playing. The writer with a story to tell, a determination to get it published, and the ability to determine the priorities that will get him/her to that goal will succeed.

Establishing priorities is much like goal setting.  First it is necessary to decide what matters most.  For most of us, family comes before career, talents, or personal wants.  Next comes needs; you know the routine; food, shelter, safety.  Eventually we get down to things like careers, vocations, talents, and ambitions.  For a writer, this usually means getting published and like so many of life's goals, much of the pleasure is derived from the journey.

Important aspects of making writing a priority are self-discipline, education, reading, and finishing.  Self discipline is important if writing is a true priority.  Facebook and games are fun and the networking can be beneficial, but they can steal a lot of valuable writing time, as can TV.  If, like me, a person can't write until the beds are made and breakfast dishes are done, then do them first and fast.  Eliminate as many distractions as possible as quickly as possible, then get to work.

Education doesn't always mean formal education.  Writers can save themselves a lot of time and disappointment by reading books on writing, following up web sites devoted to writing instruction, and by attending conferences and seminars.  Being part of a critique group can help a writer overcome some major stumbling blocks to becoming an accomplished and published author.

I know several writers who claim they don't have time to read.  Frankly their work shows it.  Reading what others in your genre write can be invaluable to discovering techniques, errors to avoid, and provide insight into why readers buy those writers' books.  Reading in other genres broadens the background a writer brings to his/her own writing.

Finishing is an essential priority.  Writers who allow themselves to be distracted by other book ideas tend to have dozens of partial manuscripts lying around, but no contracts and no books on store shelves.  If a super idea occurs while working on something else, jot down a few notes and shove it in a drawer, then get back to finishing the manuscript at hand.

Modern life is so filled with distractions, information overload, enticing choices, and responsibilities, it can be overwhelming.  Setting priorities eliminates some of life's emotional and physical clutter.

This month for the October Wish List Contest I'd like to hear about your priorities, your stories of how you've set your priorities, and how you stick to them. I'd also like to hear how you handle interruptions to those priorities you've set.

TIME TO ANNOUNCE WINNERS AGAIN

And the winners are . . (drum roll) Stephanie Black and Tarmy.   Congratulations to both of you.  Please send me your LDS fiction wish list before Friday, Oct. 7--five or more books!  I'll send one of them to you for your prize.  Send the list and your mailing address to bhansen22 at msn dot com.

END OF MONTH--END OF SEPT WISH LIST CONTEST

Just a reminder that tomorrow Sept. 30 is the last day of the September Wish List Contest!  All comments on any of my posts during the month count toward the drawing.

A Little Craziness

"Everyone in the whole world is crazy, except thee and me--and sometimes I wonder about thee."  It was a popular saying when I was a teenager and sometimes I find myself thinking it today.  Am I the only one who wonders if the world has gone a bit crazy?

Take our international economic situation!  I took economic classes.  I've studied finance from corporate bookkeeping to balancing my own checkbook and I can't see how we can spend our way out of debt.  Sure purchasing goods; spending is essential to a healthy economy, but so is saving.  Somehow our financial well-being has been twisted so that a person's ability to borrow matters more than the ability to pay one's own way.  People determine their financial worth by their credit card limit instead of actual dollars in the bank.  Poverty occurs when the credit cards are maxed out and the mortgage company forecloses.  Savers who consistently squirrel away small sums of money for years to make major purchases, meet emergencies, or to provide a comfortable retirement are reaping .02% or less on their pitiful savings.  What has happened to the economic laws I once knew?

Advertising constantly assures us we "deserve" this or that.  I don't get that premise. No one "deserves" any of life's luxuries or even much of what many consider necessities.  We don't buy cars, clothes, houses, or take vacations because we deserve them, but because we worked for the money to purchase them.  We only "deserve" those inalienable rights given us by God--life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

The Supreme Court says taking God's name publicly in vain is a constitutional right, but addressing God in prayer in public is a crime. It seems free speech has become a bit one-sided.

A man can be fired from his job for tackling a shoplifter, but it's all right for the store to increase the cost we all must pay to cover the loss from pilfered goods.

It's all right to dump piles of rocks, guaranteed to blow a tire or twist an ankle if accidently stepped on or driven over, in median strips in most neighborhoods, but it's illegal to plant vegetables in that space.  A yard full of rocks and weeds is a good thing?

Occasionally my  husband and I watch a television program that shows people purchasing houses, condos, or apartments.  Sometimes we laugh at the unrealistic expectations of people who expect four bedrooms, a man cave, three baths, a modern kitchen, and a pool for $160,000.  Other times we're amazed to see people who think they got an amazing bargain because they purchased a pile of rubble for over a million dollars.  People gush over ugly tile, rave over weird wall paper, or turn their noses up over perfectly good, attractive, but slightly outdated fixtures. We shake our heads and say there's no accounting for tastes, good sense, or the odd quirks of the human mind. 

Which brings me around to the business of writing.  All of these elements of common sense--or lack there-of-- tastes, imagination, moral sense, realistic aspects, preferences play a part in both the creation and the consumption of novels.  Whether consciously or not, a writer creates characters and actions that follow his/her own beliefs, standards, and sense of right and wrong.  The reader brings his/her own set of values to those pages.  Sometimes there is a happy meeting of minds between writer and reader, but sometimes it's a poor match.  We've all had someone rave about how wonderful a book is, then when we pick it up, expecting a great read, only to find it lackluster, boring, so so, or even repugnant. 

The world is a bit crazy; perhaps it always has been, but just as the people on that home buying show find the best bargains when they do some preparation, we can get the best bargain for our reading and writing enjoyment if we take the time to do a little preparation.  Writers who are perfectly clear on who they are writing for find their writing niche most easily.  A romance writer knows her audience wants romantic tension between a deserving couple who overcome great odds and end up in a committed relationship.  Mystery and suspense readers want to be puzzled, scared a bit, then reach a satisfying solution to the puzzle. A writer who wants to write for the LDS market needs to write within the parameters of LDS standards.  Deciding LDS readers need to "lighten up", accept more sexually explicit content and X-rated expletives is only going to attract like-minded readers, the bulk of the LDS market won't touch such books with a ten foot pole.

Many LDS readers in the past felt if they purchased a book at Deseret Book or Seagull Book (or any of the other LDS bookstore chains) it would be a good book.  It might be a good book as far as maintaining standards, but no one book will meet the needs of every LDS reader.  The most savvy shoppers learn some writers fill their needs better than others, some readers buy their books online, some checkout LDS books from their libraries.  Keeping a list of preferred writers is a good idea, discovering which friends share similar tastes with you is helpful, reading blogs and reviews will generally give a good idea of whether or not a particular book might be enjoyable, and it's a good idea to talk to the authors at book signings .  Reading will increase in the pleasure it provides as the reader discovers preferred genres and authors, but even favorites become better if there's a little craziness added for contrast now and then.  Make it a policy to sample a new author or a different genre occasionally.  If the new book turns out to be a pile of rubble, throw it at the wall, read something you know you'll like, and when you're ready to experiment again, do it.  If you feel a wee bit crazy, you'll fit right in.

Book Academy Conference

Next week, October 6 to be exact, I'll be teaching a class on writing Mystery/Suspense at the Book Academy Conference at Utah Valley University.  I'll also be taking part in a marketing panel discussion on reviewing.  You can get more information on the conference by going here.  Nancy Campbell Allen, Gregg Luke, Sarah Eden, Angela Eschler, Kirk Shaw, and Lisa Mangum are just a few of the other presenters.  It's going to be fun -- and scary.  The scariest part will probably be the freeway between Salt Lake and the UVU campus!

There are a number of writers conferences each year that take place both locally and nationally.  They provide great opportunities for writers and future writers to connect, to learn of changes in the industry, to receive encouragement, and further their skills.  Some are sponsored by organizations such as ANWA, the League of Utah Writers, LDStorymakers, Romance Writers of America (both state and national levels), and by colleges and universities.  Anyone wishing to break into the writing/publishing field should seriously consider attending a conference.  Some conferences require membership in the sponsoring organization, but most do not.  Some are directed specifically toward a certain genre; mystery writers, science fiction, western, romance; and some are more general. Most also have a blend of specific, practical writing help and general marketing assistance.

Those who aren't writers, but enjoy reading, probably won't want to attend a conference, but they can still improve their selection of reading material by being vocal about what they like or don't like in the books they read.  They can let writers and publishers know on blogs, on facebook, in emails, etc. what is appreciated, what is found to be offensive, and what they would like to find on their library or bookstore shelves.

It's been a few years since I've been a speaker or a workshop presenter at a writing conference so I may be a bit nervous, but I suspect this one will be a great experience and I'll have the good fortune to meet the authors of tomorrow's best sellers.

Booksigning!

I'll be participating in Seagull Books Celebrating Sisterhood Saturday, Sept. 24 between ten and noon.  I'll be at the District Seagull Book Store, a new store located just off of Bangerter Highway at 11531 District Dr. in South Jordan.  That's almost directly across the highway from the Oquirrh Mountain Temple.  I'll be signing my new book, If I Should Die, and any of my other books that are in the store or brought in by customers.  Come chat with me and eat some snacks. I love meeting new readers and getting reaquainted with readers I've met before.  It'll be fun in this lovely new setting.

OBSERVATION

No one has ever accused me of being the most observant person on this planet. I trip over lint on the carpet!  I was in a minor accident once with a hit and run driver; I couldn't remember whether it was a car, a station wagon, or a pickup truck that hit my car.  Unfortunately my youngest daughter takes after her mother; she tripped over the welcome mat at her own front door and seriously sprained both ankles last week!

Oddly enough I do notice trivia and some not so trivial things around me.  Last week I observed a little girl at a salad bar scoop up some chocolate pudding and try to shake it onto her plate from the spoon.  It didn't fall off so she wiped it off with her fingers, then licked her fingers before jamming the spoon back in the pudding, again wiping off the stuck pudding with her finger, and licking her fingers once more.  She repeated this action half a dozen times.

 I noticed, too, the woman in the changing booth next to mine slip on her shoes sans socks.  I also noticed her feet were covered with athletes foot and she'd been standing barefoot on the changing booth carpet.

While getting my hair done, I watched in the mirror as the patron behind me had extensions added to make her hair appear fuller.  As the beautician pinched each extension with a little pair of pliers, I wondered how the woman getting the extensions could possibly wash, brush, or comb her hair with all that hardware in it.  She was excited about a date with a new man that night and I hoped he wasn't the kind who liked to run his fingers through a woman's long, silky hair.

The mention of hair reminds me of the time I sat in church and watched a young girl's hair turn from black to several shades of brown, blonde, and then to red.  All the variations in color were due to the way the sun struck the large stained glass windows high on the walls of the chapel.

Who knows, any of these small incidents could and the last one did ,wind up in one of my books. Some writers are more observant than my daughter and I are when it comes to obstacles to personal welfare, but most writers have a tendency to see little quirks, mannerisms, the unusual, trivia we can use to make characters more real, more endearing, or less desirable. It's the little things most people may not notice in real life that makes a character in a novel more real.

I couldn't tell you the eye color of any of my neighbors or most of my relatives, but in a novel this is usually an important detail. I have no idea what kind of car anyone, other than my husband or myself, drives. What color my sister's carpet is, is a mystery to me. There's a mural on the wall of my doctor's office; I'm not sure what it depicts, but there's a bird in it with incorrect proportions.

Why I have selective observation skills, I don't know, but being aware of small details around me has enriched my ability to develop characters and create scenes.  Why I don't notice a stair is two inches higher than I raise my foot, I don't know.

As for my daughter, blessed or cursed with the same problem, check out her blog sometime. She has very different tastes from mine in her reading and writing preferences, but she has a sense of humor that has delighted me since she wrote her first story about an inept dragon and an unusual princess.