What Matters Most

I did something Thursday night I haven't done since I was a teenager, and that was a long time ago. I slept for eleven hours straight. My life has been highly stressful the past few years; I've lost to death my father, two siblings, a brother-in-law, and three sisters-in-law. During this period of time, a son-in-law was also severely wounded in Iraq. Added to that were a daughter's, a sister-in-law's, a brother-in-law's, and a cousin's successful battles with cancer. Through most of this time I attempted to keep up my house, my gardens, a Primary class, two days of service at the temple, my writing, and reviewing along with all of the other things we women, wives, mothers, and grandmothers try to do. I constantly nagged myself to work harder, move faster, get more done. All while battling a crippling bout of tendonitis in one knee. I've always been guilty of over scheduling and trying to do everything. The final straw seemed to be accepting an assignment to clean the temple between 9:30 and 12:30 the night between my two temple days last week. It's an assignment I really do enjoy, but by the time I finished my shift Thursday, my mind felt numb and I was barely functioning. I fell asleep around eight thirty and didn't awaken until after seven thirty Friday morning. Since then I've been thinking a lot about President Dieter Uchtdorf's conference talk on things that matter most.

These words stuck in my mind: "When stress levels rise, when distress appears, when tragedy strikes, too often we attempt to keep up the same frantic pace or even accelerate, thinking somehow that the more rushed our pace, the better off we will be . . . If life and its rushed pace and many stresses have made life difficult for you to feel like rejoicing, then perhaps now is a good time to refocus on what matters most."

Illnesses and deaths come unexpectedly, but most other "obligations" can be rescheduled or skipped if we have enough sense to do it. A counselor in my ward's bishopric realized how stressed I felt and had me released from teaching Primary a few months ago. Of necessity I backed off from my previous writing level--hence no book out this year. Cleaning the temple is an important and satisfying experience, so I went even though I was already over tired. I enjoy the comments people make about our yard and gardens and I enjoy gardening. It has bothered me greatly to see grass and weeds marring the beauty of my flowers, so I pushed my knee beyond what it could tolerate. Now there are many gardening tasks I cannot do. I've always been a little "house proud" and with many family members staying with us for short and long visits during cancer treatments and visits to family members in cancer specialty hospitals near us, but far from their homes, I attempted to keep our house spotless and clean sheets on the beds in our spare rooms. Now my knee thoroughly objects when I try to vacuum. My failure to live up to my goals and standards, the times I didn't spend with my children and grandchildren, the ball games and school programs I missed, the book I didn't get ready for publication, all left me feeling guilty. Clearly I'm one of those who didn't stick to the basics President Uchtdorf referred to in his talk.

It is said that any virtue when taken to an extreme can become a vice. Over-scheduling our days would certainly qualify for this. There comes a point where milestones can become millstones and ambitions, albatrosses around our necks.

It's a hard lesson, but I think I, and most other people, need to learn to let go of some things. We need to decide what is the most basic essentials and let lesser time consumers go. President Uchtdorf listed four important areas which he considers most important in our busy, cluttered lives. First he suggests we "turn to Heavenly Father and seek His wisdom regarding the things that matter most." His list is comprised of four areas he considers vital, beginning with our relationship with God. Second is our families. Third is our relationship with our fellowman. And the fourth, but not necessarily the least important, is our relationship with ourselves.

May I suggest that you reduce the rush and take a little extra time to get to know yourself better. Walk in nature, watch a sunrise, enjoy God's creations, ponder the truths of the restored gospel, and find out what they mean for you personally.

I'm going to take President Uchtdorf's challenge to simplify my life and to focus on the sublime beauty of the simple, humble path of Christian discipleship. I've picked one thing from one of the four basics he suggested and plan to concentrate on letting it improve my life. I could have picked many goals, but if I choose too many, I won't accomplish any of them well. I plan to keep the basics firmly in mind as challenges come my way and learn to separate what is truly important from those things that don't really matter or can be done at another time. I hope others will accept his challenge too. Pick just one area where you can improve and decide on one specific thing you can do to simplify and improve your life. Then do it. I plan to.

OUT OF INK

I know I've neglected a lot of things lately, but this is downright annoying. I'm out of ink. I attempted to print a few pictures I've taken lately and discovered I've neglected to update my ink supply. That's one of those details I usually watch closely.


As a writer, details are something I try to watch closely, but like my ink supply, I sometimes get careless. I double check facts; I watch spelling and grammar like a hawk, but my punctuation has been known to be on the careless side. I know the rules; I really do. That doesn't mean I follow them. I throw in commas wherever it seems natural to pause, I'm generous with semi colons and I can never quite remember when to use an em dash and when to let thoughts trail off in three little dots. I always think that when I finish a manuscript, I'll fix the punctuation, but too often I miss something. (By the way, Annette Lyon currently has a great mini-lesson on semi colons on her blog).


I love authors who work realistic details into the background or setting, use details to make a procedure clear, or add these bits to make a character someone the reader can relate to. Without these tidbits, a novel becomes like the pictures I tried to print this morning, blurred streaks of gray. Yes, a story can get bogged down in too much trivia, but a careful writer learns the details of the setting for his/her story, studies the occupation, time period, and social customs the character would know, and develops a character whose physical description and idiosyncrasies remain constant--unless there is a deliberate change for plot-related reasons.


Getting the details right involves research, reviewing facts, and paying attention. I know my editor would appreciate more careful attention to detail in the way I use punctuation and as a reviewer who has recently read some really poor novels and some really good ones, I think I can safely say readers will show their appreciation for better attention to details, on writers and editors parts, by repeat purchases of books by those authors who watch the details.


Now about those pictures I tried to print. Until I get to a store that sells ink, this is the best I can do.



First trophy!My grandson, Brandon's first soccer team.


P.S. The current contest ends this Friday, so get those comments made.

Running Late

I'm sorry I'm late posting the winner of my September Wish List 2 contest. I was out of town most of the week. I loved the comments concerning the future of LDS Fiction posted on Meridian and I'm glad so many of you enjoy LDS Fiction and took the time to read my article and comment. I like the new Meridian format that gives readers an opportunity to comment directly on columns and features they like or dislike, and allows them to add something they find pertinent. So many people who enjoy LDS fiction live nowhere near a store that carries this fiction and must depend on ordering online, over the phone, or by mail which adds to the cost of the books. Comments by readers added to my reviews are a big help for readers everywhere to make choices concerning books to order or to pick up when they are able to visit a bookstore that carries LDS materials.

Now to announce the winner: Vicki Firth Please contact me within a week at bhansen22 at msn dot com to give me your wish list and mailing address.

A new contest begins now and runs through October 15. The past few weeks have been extremely stressful for me and I haven't found a particular theme for this contest (October Wish List 1), so I'm going to ask you to comment on any topic connected to LDS fiction or you may ask me questions concerning my own writing, reviewing, or anything writing related. If I don't know the answer, I'll find someone who does. (I'll also decide whether or not a question is appropriate).

Pictures to Accompany Blog

I haven't quite figured out how to post pictures with blogs written on Word Office and opened on Blogger, so here are the pictures that should accompany the following blog.

For more pictures go to http://keepingupwiththehansens.blogspot.com

Ignore the dates on the pictures. I obviously need to reset the date stamp on my camera. They were all taken yesterday, not ten years ago!

A Change of Season

As many of you already know, my sister passed away Saturday morning. Her greatest desires through her long ordeal were to go home and to see her grandchildren. Her son and his fourteen year-old twin sons visited her several times while in the hospital in Salt Lake. Her daughter's two children, both adults, came too, but what was hard was not to be able to see her granddaughter's twin girls (six) and their little brother. The small children weren't allowed in the cancer unit. And how she longed to see her grandson's much anticipated baby due in November. The day before she died, when death was inevitable, her husband and son made arrangements to transfer her to a hospital nearer their home and all of the grandchildren were able to visit her and say good-bye.

When the medical transport left Salt Lake Friday morning I cried, but a little song our father taught us when we were children came to mind. It went "one little, two little, three little Indians, four little . . ." Because there were ten of us in our family we changed the words to "one little, two little, three little Smiths, four little . . ." and on up to ten, then we counted backward "ten little, nine little, eight little Smiths, seven little . . ." The thought came to me that we're down to six now, but on the other side, they're up to four.

Feeling lost and sad yesterday, I found it difficult to settle into any of the many tasks I've ignored over the long months of my sister's illness. My son-in-law, Steve, decided I needed to get out, get away for a little while. He and my daughter with their three children came to collect my husband and me for a drive along the Alpine Loop. Seated next to my ten-year-old granddaughter, I took pleasure in her loving smiles and quick mind and laughed at our seven-year-old's efforts to eat all of the snacks and keep his little brother from getting too wild. It was a beautiful day, but I couldn't help thinking of how much my sister loved the mountains and changing of the seasons. It was a refreshing trip and brought me a sense of peace, reminding me that my little sister is no longer suffering, but is Home with our older brother and our parents. We finished the day with dinner in Heber and I found something especially dear about sitting next to my rambunctious, outgoing four-year-old grandson, my youngest, who is never still for a moment. Again I felt regret that my sister won't be able to interact with her grandchildren and take pleasure in a simple outing with them again and I was deeply reminded of how dear my grandchildren are to me.

Seeing the trees change with the end of one season and the beginning of another, I couldn't help thinking that the death of a loved one is also a change of season. Those of us who remain behind will see our lives change because of her absence. The change of season for her, I believe, is as dramatic and beautiful as the foliage changing from the green beauty of summer, to the vibrancy and colors of Autumn.

I'm inviting you to go to Meridian Magazine and read my column there. Instead of my usual review of an LDS novel I've talked about the condition of today's LDS Fiction and where I think LDS fiction is headed in the future. I talked to quite a few people, mostly authors and editors, before writing this column. As a writer and a reviewer I can't help wondering where readers (and others) see LDS fiction in today's market place, in your homes, and in your lives. What do you think is good about LDS fiction? What would make it better? and Where do you think LDS fiction will be two years or five years down the road? Please respond on Meridian's comment trail, or here. (By the way, everyone who responds with thoughtful comments at either of these locations, will be entered in the ongoing Wish List contest on my blog.)

Attitude and Preparation

This past week hasn't been one of my better weeks. I told everyone to look under Entertainment for my reviews on Meridian when I should have said look under Books. I've spent extra time at the hospital with my sister this week so my brother-in-law could go home for his own Dr.'s appointment, thus I didn't get a blog posted on the V-formation or on my blog. I was expecting my column on Meridian to be posted on Thursday; it wasn't. It has a new posting date Monday, Sept. 20, so look for it then. (This column is about the current state of LDS Fiction and where I think it's going in the next few years and I would really appreciate comments here or on Meridian from readers, writers, and anyone else with a stake in the future of LDS fiction.) I have tendonitis in one knee and it's been acting up all week; do you suppose stress is a factor in that? I've read five books in the past few weeks. Three were awful, actually one was excellent for the first half then it fell apart. The other two books, both by consistently excellent authors, were good and even may have been better than I rated them, but with so many distractions I had to read in fast, short time bursts that made concentrating difficult.

Anyway enough of my Perils of Pauline whining. I spent a little more than an hour this morning clearing away weeds and overgrown foliage in my flower beds. It barely made a dent in what needs to be done, but as I worked I found myself planning where to plant new bulbs for next spring, debating whether a plant that didn't do well in its present spot might do better if I moved it to another location, and feeling good about my accomplishments because it will make next Spring's garden so much prettier. Spring is a long time away, but preparing now makes a tremendous difference in both the workload and the pleasure in my garden when it arrives.

It occurred to me that the editorial process of a book is much like fall garden work. Clearing out repetitions, getting rid of spelling and grammar errors, moving a section from one chapter to another where it fits better, results in a far better book on that magical day when it is finally released. I don't have a release date yet for my next book, though it has been accepted by my publisher, but there are things I and other writers and editors find make the editing process flow more smoothly and the satisfaction with the finished product that much greater. One of these is to keep a file of notes during the writing process, a chapter by chapter outline (some writers outline before, some after), and a character list with detailed descriptions. The editing process can begin many months, sometimes a year or more, after the manuscript is finished, so keeping these items can save precious time and headaches when the time does come to edit since it makes jumping back into that story easier.

Okay, I'm determined next week is going to be better, my Spring garden will be beautiful and colorful, and I won't moan and groan about my next editing process. Attitude and preparation! I'll keep reminding myself of those two things.

Oops!

My column that was supposed to run on Meridian this morning didn't, so if you comment on any of the last four reviews I posted there, I'll count your comment as a contest entry. Comment here or there. www.ldsmag.com My reviews are listed under the heading Entertainment - Book Reviews

One contest ends another begins

Violettes is the winner of a Wish List Book. Please send me your wish list, five or more books from your wish list. Please don't include really recent books that are probably going to be Whitney nominees. I'll make some of them available next April after the awards have been decided. Along with the list, please include your mailing address. Send the information to bhansen22 at msn dot com. Include "wish list" in the subject line. And congratulations!

The next contest starts tomorrow. Please read my column on Meridian and respond either here or in the comment trail on Meridian. www.ldsmag.com

Catch Up!

Last Wednesday a car hit my internet service provider's equipment and demolished it. Five days without internet service was a royal pain, therefore I'm afraid I became a royal pain for Quest. I have a column to submit! I work from home! I want to talk to a real person! Their update line, reached after a dozen, automated questions was still just a recording that simply told me I didn't have service at the present time, but their technicians were working on the problem. Arrgh! Anyway I finally have internet back and tons of catching up to do.

To add to the last few days' frustration, my sister has developed an infection in her lungs and is back in the hospital. She's so tired and depressed she just wants to quit fighting, her husband is a powder keg ready to explode He's already thrown a few near-tantrums. Fatigue and worry will do that to a person.

I'm embarassed for my fellow journalists who turned the crack-pot ravings of one not-too-bright self-proclaimed preacher into an international incident. It's disappointing to see the world press feeding Iran's thirst for publicity as they drag out the release of a US woman who shouldn't have been anywhere near Iran in the first place and shouldn't have been arrested over such a silly non-issue either. I think I might resort to throwing something at Peter Caroon if I hear his "cheap cheap" commercial one more time. I'm really tired of the lies and innuendos candidates are already using in their campaigns and even more disgusted with media and supporters who jump on small matters to turn them into major stumbling blocks.

If I sound cranky today, I truly apologize because I'm a strong believer in looking for silver linings. And there are good things happening around me too. My publisher accepted my Murder Comes Calling manuscript. (The title is subject to change) I attended a fun and yummy Stake picnic Saturday and last night was the Oquirrh Temple Devotional held at the tabernacle in Salt Lake. Both were wonderful feasts, one for the tummy and one for the soul.

Meridian's comment feature attached to my columns is now working. I'm looking forward to hearing your comments on my various reviews. Should I add comments any of my blog readers make to my contest? You'd have to comment here too, so I'd know if you read both my Meridian review column and this blog. By the way the current contest ends in two days.

I'm not sure whether by strict definition this is a blog or just some random rambling. After an absence from internet contact for five days, let's just say it's my way of playing catch up.